(taken during Grampas Birthday celebration)

Introducing my Grandparents and their 9 grandkids!(Mostly dominated by the female gender..as you can see)

The 3 LIMs on the left top hand corner. The 2 LEEs at the far right. The 2 small YAPs on grandparent's lap. And lastly..The 2 TANs in the middle! heh.

I just don't understand.

Why do I love playing floorball more than hockey now?
Why is it that the team seems to fall apart AFTER the team talk?
Why does a LIE bring disturbance and chaos in the house?
Why am i feeling this way...MESSED UP?
Why....?
Why....?
Why....?

I have been asking so many questions to myself this few days till I lost track of the answers or fail to listen to the answers. I want to put everything aside right now...complete tmr's test and come and solve the rest of these question marks. Even keeping friendships and relationships is a question mark..everything is a question mark right now. i really need to evaluate this and maybe pen down my thoughts and goals. one for hockey, one for work, one for family and one for myself. Thats alot! ha!

When drving test is over tmr, one question mark would be solved. a pass or a fail? I WANNA PASS! I CAN PASS! I CAN DO IT!

Yesterday was a heavy night, everybody was down. tried to lighten the mood, but to no avail. could not bring myself to cheer everybody. How come i don't know what to do. How come i can't let go. How come i feel lost when it comes to this. How come i have to take this up..alone...i really need help but apparently i cant ask for help cos they are busy with FYP or work! Thanks. Pray abby. Pray.

Maybe chicken essence will help? heh! yea. shall take one tmr! (: pok pok keh!

I want to be a rockstar, a superhero. Living the dream, doing the things i always wanted. (This song is stuck in my head!)

Tell me, tell me, tell me. why, why, why.
Won't be going for rp friendly tmr. Oh wells...gramdpa's celebration is important! HIS BIG 70 on the 29th JUNE!!!!! hahah! Hopefully, the WHOLE family will be there. Have not seen the Lims for some time. Mother's Day celebration they were'nt there. so hopefully they will be coming tmr.

Lets put my thoughts in point form.

You
family
Hockey
floorball
church
FYP
school
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
.
.
.
.
.
Thats all for now.

I was once asked to define freedom. Till now i'm unable to define it cos i dont know what it is.

Today, was an UP and DOWN roller coaster ride.
Rained.
Scolded by instructor.
Shouted at by a friend.
Emo-ed by a relative.
And then....SOMETHING ELSE that totally put me at the spot.

PLUS POINTs though for great time spent with the girls at sentosa today. Had fun, though i withdrew myself into some nutshell...sorry. everything seemed fine when i'm with them.
another PLUS POINT cos my sister cooked dinner for me. 2 pratas! (: full now!
and another PLUS POINT cos of the thought and time spent with You. (:

i guess i still have to love my life huh? hah. oh wells.

'You are the most influential player in the team. If you walk around with your head down, then so will they. Don't tell me you can't give me more then what i am seeing.'

'you have been gifted with the gift of leadership....can i count on you'


-lines from Facing the Giants-

I FEEL LIKE DRINKING A WHOLE CARTON OF MILK NOW!!!!

If life is like these every week, i really dont mind!(:

from the courtesy of MARY! hahha

If i go for all the trainings tmr...i would have trained for at least 12 hours within 3 days! (:

Muscles are aching, but its worth it.
Had a chance to play centre forward today (: love to play that position. but if i continue playing that position i need to pick up my skills again. Like what ishak said to me...'when you first came in to sp you could easily dribble past 3 players, now you need to pick up that skill again.' It is so true...i lost it, by not putting it to use, and not constantly training. Need to improve. i want to do it for the team and have fun! I wanna play my best for this team. Really, cos they deserve my best. Guess i just dont want to let them down. GO SP HOCKEY! (:

Today, structure is formed...looks like our first eleven may may may be like that, hope the other players come for training otherwise they will be losing the opportunity to learn. I see the seniors who played today and i must say i am very proud of them. They have all improved!
Shikin has stopped PLENTY of balls today...our stopper!
Aisyah is now going after the balls, tackiling and getting the balls!Pro-active!I like! (:
Felicia has definately improve in ball control, seen alot of dribbling and getting the ball past the players. awesome.
yana, her stamina has improved...i love to play tap tap passes with her(: her passes are so accurate!
but thats all the seniors we have today. sad. hope the others actually come. THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN!

Hockey is not my life, but it has become part of my lifestyle.

shall practice on my dribbling tmr, before hockey training starts. yesh!

I would be rich if i earn a penny for everytime i think of you

Sometimes when you love someone,
you just want to keep giving and giving
in order to demonstrate your incredible love.

By Naiy(: i love her phrases!

I feel like i am losing myself at times.
Everytime i think about you it makes my mind spin.

Holidays are here....supposedly but the feeling aint there. Here goes the to do list for holidays.

1) Driving!!!
2) Hockey
3) Floorball
4) Music


Mind goes blank...
I'm thinking of nothing yet something is moving around in my brain. I cant figure it out and it is annoying!

Dreaming about when i'll see you next
knowing that i never will forget

Can't have you by Jonas Brothers (:

I need to write!
I need to compose!
I need to stop thinking so much about stuff/things/whatever!

Stared at my notes for the past 30mins! I'm really afraid i can't answer tmr's paper...i'm barely prepared. I'm posting right now cos i'm just Irritated for thinking too much.
I dont think i can score this term, just because of.....!!! i cannot study!I want to forget about it but it seems that this stuff/thing/whatever will appear and stop me from studying! ARGH! not that i dont like it but i need to study.

Sister is not around to let me vent out my frustration. so for now this is the outlet i can rant.

A thought:
i keep thinking...'giving is expecting nothing in return' If i give with a condition, or when i expect something back..thats not giving. I wanna give yet i just hope that at least appreciation comes back. So what is this??? No wonder someone used to say 'abby you expect too much. People are just not like you, so forget it. and stop being so nice.' Nice?? i really dont understand. If i am nice, why do i feel this way! Argh, i think too much. Need my mind to rest...after this week. after hols so busy also..driving, english O levels, tuitioning, hockey, floorball, church, music, yog and studies. I'm going to burst like that frog i read in the book. BOOM!

I can't believe it, i'm already missing my sister.
Had a long hug from my little sister.....7 days in Japan...

I'm sad now since she is gone...but i know i got to study! so i have to set my mind straight right now, no distractions from after this post to 12. Aim: to finish studying for F&B. Tmr shall study ESH and CR! jia you to all taking their MST! lets do it together! (: Whoots!

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet

NIce song!

I just realised..I heard my mum and sister yelling at each other the night before! was too sleepy to remember it or care about it. But now that i am awake, what was it all about?

Sigh. Don;t know what to do. Sister can be so stubborn and all. time for me to shut up.

MSTs not here yet but i'm suddenly worried about English O levels. I wonder why? Project and presentation due tomorrow and i'm not done with it. I just want a break!
Play some music, compose some melody and let it hang there. thats the life i want.

sometimes i wonder why i can achieve what i want. to be a National Hockey player, to serve God in clouds, to be a great support in my family, to be with the person i love, to be the pillar of support to my good friends...the following have all failed. hahah! oh wells, move on with life right? haha. dont dwell on it. But it got me thinking, that i must have approached all the situations wrongly. i may not be able to attain some of them already but i guess i can look for an alternative or just let it go.
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It has been officially 6 months since the first feeling i had. And it has not wavered one bit. I'm sure of it now. The longest i have ever gone.


if i have to wait i will wait. though i know i have no chance at all.haha.

Everytime i see your smile, my heart skipped not just one beat but serveral.


And you don't know what you got
till it's gone
and you don't know what it's like
to feel so low
and everytime you smile or laugh you glow
you don't even know