i feel better today. pretty alright with my close friend's encouragement and all. thanks a miilion and one guys! i really appreciate it!
today im proud to have not runaway from french class, relief to have completed my press release work given today, glad that i could answer my french questions (which is rare) :)
dont get me wrong i love french but its tough...speaking and writing. dont understand why i took up a third language when my first 2 languages got problem. those who knows me would know my speaking and writing limitations in this area. But french is cool. C'est tres sympa! :)
Today three pairs of hands, six hands in all
Reached down, Lift me and Pat me at the back
They gave me a slight push and shout out my name
Gave me the energy and asked me to fly
Encouraged, Determined and Strong in mind
I will continue my flight and win this fight
At the times i go down---feeling tired and all
i will always remember those three pairs of hands
those six hands in all, who gave me that push and asked me to fly
thank you naiy, xing, kid
i think im really super in a confused state now. i feel like burdened by many things.
let me share them with you.....
-should i join SRC.....i really want to, but i know i got commitment and stuff.
-big event! what am i suppose to do?
-piles of work in school
-church work
-camps
-o level students
-hockey trainings
i feel this burden. today when i start talking during the event discussion, i felt how i felt when i was captiain of blue house. i could not get things done, discussions always end up unfinished, everyone seems to be doing their own things, i just could not get their attention. i dont like it if i have to take matters and do them myself, cos its wrong, everyone should be involved! really i ahte this feeling...i felt nervous as usual, could not get the ball rolling, needed help from nicole. sheesh, at that time i felt like a loser...and i call myself a leader. seriously at that point of time i felt like i lost it. i felt that i lost everything i have learnt in st nicks, everything that i was back then. even for hockey..my talent...im deproving...and that is bad. im losing it. thats how bad im feeling today.
but i keep telling myself tmr will be a better day-today is slacking day!
yesterday was tiring but yet watch-tv-with-mum day.
have been talking/writing to my xiao gu from amesteram. Been ages seen i wrote to her. and my cousin lilly is so tall aleardy! looks like im the only one who caught the short genes.
im off to slack!
looking into you and i see the confusion of thoughts
what are you worrying, waht are you thinking
it seems to be an unless hole of darkness
as deep as the black hole of the universe
get real, get rid, get moving
dont let these thoughts suck you in
week after week, i see that same sullen expression
i pray, i pray and i pray for you
for God to take it away from you
the thought of losing you to this world
dampens my spirit and made my heart cry
Let it Go! Keep moving forward!
Leave it! and Come with me
and i'll show you what you have been longing for....
hoho, today was brilliant. fun!
spend pratically the whole afternoon out. Out doing stuff like alpha training, then waiting with cass mei and uncle desmond and my family to go eat dinner. had playing around with our shoes..hahah.
and we went out to eat dinner. and walked right infront of a crowd watching soccer. woah...i got to tell you walking in front of them and the soccer channeled tv is not the right move, but it was fun. hahah
today was just fun! hahah
life is full of obstacles its just the way you handle them that makes your life seems so care-free
seriously yesterday's dinner was..lets say...suppose to be a happy one..ended my grandparents were angry with each other! hia yo! but i guess last nigths dinner was good! we cleaned up the plates really clean! it was nai nai's birthday yesterday. No present but gave her a hug.
clarice called me during class(i was startled), asking me funny questions, guess she was stressed out over the add math paper in the afternoon. My cousin is just as stressed but she should be okay :) yea i got faith in her.
feeling the beat
got me to my feet
snapping my fingers and
drumming with the other
i pick up the bass and
feeling my fingers on hte strings
i picked on a string
and let a low note flow with the drum beat.............
Just go with the flow-
work is piling up! getting tired, plus the whole big event thing next year, hmm...im feeling stress..for now :)
Crash, the sound of two things bumping!
That is the sound of my problems fighting in my head
seeing who can top the chart of ABBY's Biggest Problem!
Maybe that can be a reality show.
Why cant anyone hear my shouts
though i shout it out from the mountain(hill) top
Can anyone hear my overwhelming screams?
my heart sinks everytime i hear that voice screaming in my head..
is it really you?or is it just me......
Burn-the way i want them to
these problems are just too much
i guess i just got to let it go, let it fly
with the strength and a prayer it will all be gone.
today school ends early, and work is piling up.
devotion was awesome this morning. well i pratically read a book called Facing the Giants by Max Lucado. Awesome...im only at chapter 4! It really reminds me to keep my eyes off the Big Problem, the giant, but focus on who is going to give me the strength to overcome it.
So yea.
tmr i wont be goig for training, really sad about it but i guess family comes first and this time its my nainai. her birthday. My first training but oh wells...forgot it. I think im well trained in this area dont you think, hahah.
slipping off to the dreams where i can be me
The Great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
Today was early classes which means ignoring of the constantly ringing alarm clock which eventually wakes up the whole neighbourhood except me. today's lessons were alright i guess, i manage to stay awake for project management lessons(bravo abby), EMC lessons are impossible to fall asleep the t'cher is good so it makes me want to listen to her.
French lessons today were tough. missing last week's lesson means catching up with all the others. Its tough but hey i got 73 marks for my French test last sem..pretty good i guess. hahah. my goal for today, is to be a frenchie kia! :)
Today i met up with caralyn :) unexpected i must say. and by the way i just realise im not good at encouraging ppl. but im really lousy at it, i think im just a good listener.(hopefully) i think i need to learn how to. Well im just glad i got to talk to her and meet up with her even though it was a short 10 mins thing. It feels like ages since i really sat down and talked to her. I actually missed those times. someone i just talked and ranted to. She is a good listener and someone who knows how to encourage.
just smth to think about...Love comes in many ways but yet we cant see it and feel it until we stop rushing and hurrying around like ants crawling up and down. So guys out there reading this, stop and think...how many people are actually loving you yet you had never said thank you to. Naiy was always there for me but i took it for granted. abby, my twin, was also there when i had hard and rough times, but i never noticed it til my special birthday gift from her. Think of how you could show your love back to your friends guys. Dont wait.
Why do we have to go to school and the answer we will get is that we got to go cos of education. oh wells i guess it is what we all got to go through huh... :)
today is lesson at 2pm! how cool is that! late class means waking up late! hahah yesh! i was nearly late for school, had to like gobble up my food like a gorilla putting handful of grass and leaves into its mouth (you can use a little imagination here..hahah). well yea today was not much of excitement i guess just all the usual go to school routine and then come home...blah, eat, rest, talk..so on and so forth.
oh but today i saw Yan Han! good to see her. she is in uni now! hahah...she is the prefect who caught me and jx sneaking nasi lemak out of the canteen..hahah...that was so funny. one thing i will never forget. We pratically sneak food out in front of the whole PMB(prefect and monitorial board) exco! hahah that is my naughty abby times. now i can say 'ahem' guai! hahah
feeling memories flood back in is great! great memories back in StNicks. Memories that will last forever! :)
abby