i just told the children that we should be anger-free yet i get pissed at i dont know who i dont know what.....i just felt angry after today's event in church. i just felt tired and pissed. and i dont know why. i dont want to point my finger at anyone for making me angry. i think its just me, i feel like im fighting battles within myself. i know smth is right but yet i want to do the wrong thing...and i start arguing with myself. i know i should not be angry but i want to. with anger it seems at least i got my mind on the anger and not on the problems.

i have no idea what im going through. i pratically got 'whipped' by my mum and godma about my attitude saying that i did wrong about the way i did the planning and the way i carried out the children activity.
I HAD TO DO IT MYSELF! WHAT DO YOU WANT! PERFECTION?!?!?
sheesh, i hate it when i yell at myself or to the face of the computer. and i thought i got it handled and over with already...i guess it just takes time.
i dont like the feeling im feeling now
i dont like my wrongi dont like it!

but as i know it i got to hold on-