i think im really super in a confused state now. i feel like burdened by many things.
let me share them with you.....
-should i join SRC.....i really want to, but i know i got commitment and stuff.
-big event! what am i suppose to do?
-piles of work in school
-church work
-camps
-o level students
-hockey trainings

i feel this burden. today when i start talking during the event discussion, i felt how i felt when i was captiain of blue house. i could not get things done, discussions always end up unfinished, everyone seems to be doing their own things, i just could not get their attention. i dont like it if i have to take matters and do them myself, cos its wrong, everyone should be involved! really i ahte this feeling...i felt nervous as usual, could not get the ball rolling, needed help from nicole. sheesh, at that time i felt like a loser...and i call myself a leader. seriously at that point of time i felt like i lost it. i felt that i lost everything i have learnt in st nicks, everything that i was back then. even for hockey..my talent...im deproving...and that is bad. im losing it. thats how bad im feeling today.

but i keep telling myself tmr will be a better day-